Slowly, Then All at Once
by helloshelby
Summary: "Maybe it doesn't matter to me anymore." He murmured as he inched closer to her. She drew in her breath as he approached. "I can't fix or save you, only you can do that for yourself." He chuckled under his breath. "Save me, Granger? I know you are the Golden Girl but no one can save me I'm far past that." "Anyone can save themselves you just have to be willing to change."
1. Chapter 1

Hermione had felt out of place for a long time, like she was only going through the motions of life. Never truly living, she didn't remember the last time she felt as though she was truly alive. Having emotion take over her and nothing else beside what was happening in that moment matter.

How could she feel that way though? She was to fight Voldemort alongside Harry and Ron, a battle that may not be won and if it was, many lives would lost in the commotion. Maybe even her own, but no she couldn't think of that. She didn't matter, if the war was won but her life lost it was worth it.

She wasn't the one who needed to get though this war, so many people were needed here more than she. Such as Harry, he was needed to defeat Voldemort and afterwards to help the Wizarding World reach peace once more. And Ron needed to be there for his family, Mrs. Weasley would be irrevocably broken if something happen to him and for Harry.

Even though she was apart of the Golden Trio, at times she felt as though she lucked in to being apart of it. If she wouldn't have been in the bathroom when the troll attacked and she wouldn't have told Professor McGonagall she went looking for the troll, she might have never been close with either of them.

At times she felt as though Harry and Ron looked at her a mother. They needed her to take care of them, be there and have all the answers. Harry and Ron were always closer to each other than her, keeping things from her. So if one day she was gone the difference it would make wouldn't be severe.

They would no longer need anyone looking out from them after school and the war. And they would have each other, that could be enough.

Before everyone had thought of her as an annoying, selfish know it all. She was a girl who always wanted to be right and to prove herself. As the years went on and everyone knew that she was fighting beside Harry Potter, The Chosen One, those traits became things to admire, not insults with negative connotation.

How could be a girl helping win the war be selfish? Being always right was important when it comes down to someone getting killed. And Hermione trying to prove herself was looked at as bravery now. To prove she could stand beside Harry and Ron.

But at times she wondered if people would look at her the same way if she was not friends with them. Would she still be seen in a negative light? By her peers she wouldn't be commended as The Brightest Witch of Her Age, she would be snickered at for it.

One of the only people who did snicker at her for it was Draco Malfoy. And she thought as though sometimes he saw her more clearly than the rest did. How many times had he said she studied so much and had to show up everyone to prove she belonged here even though she was a Mudblood.

Which was true, even though she would never let on to that. How could she? Most people would think that getting into one of the best Wizarding school would prove you are more than good enough. But it's not that way, most half blood or pure blood children just expect to go Hogwarts and in some ways things come easier for them. So Hermione studied and worked hard as not to fall behind or have anyone question that she didn't have what it took to be a witch.

Hermione snapped out of her thoughts, she had been questioning too much in her life recently. She was in the library, a place she knew well, it has always been a place where she was never impaired. If people were to be places, Hermione would be a library. Full of knowledge and insight but constantly seeking more.

She couldn't believe she had allowed herself to get distracted here again. Earlier she had come down here to escape spending another afternoon hearing of Quidditch. The boys and she had always disagreed on study habits, but if you look at their grades you will see who has it right.

It was only a month into 6th year but Hermione had already been studying like a fiend. They were taking N.E.W.T. level classes after all, the work was and would be more difficult. And Hermione wanted to make sure she was at the top, especially someone else wanted to bump her down.

That someone was sitting across the library from her, she could see his bright white blonde hair untamed and sticking up a bit. Which was unusual it looked as though he was stressed and pulling up at it. His hair normally looked like he just ran his fingers through it and it was immaculate. Hermione found that rather unfair that a boy could have such nice hair without trying. But she suspected nothing he did was ever without trying, even though he wanted you to believe that façade.

There had been quite a number of changes with her classmate this year, aside from his hair. His body which had always seemed leanly muscled from playing Quidditch now looked lanky and gangly. His face more gaunt, as well his eyes were blank and expressionless. His whole being seemed as though he was perpetually knackered. Draco Malfoy seemed like a shell of his form self.

Hermione caught her thoughts wandering once again, and she realized how much she knew about Draco Malfoy. Evaluating how she knew it all, she came to the conclusion it fit the saying keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Plus Harry detested Malfoy, and was keen on watching his every move.

Harry thought without a doubt Malfoy was a Death Eater, whereas Hermione had her reservations about believing it. She hoped that just because Draco was a bigot didn't mean he could be a murderer as well.

She tried to look for good in everyone, even the boy who had made her cry herself to sleep in her early years. And over the years Malfoy's words had less venom in them.

Hermione shook her head as if to clear out all the thoughts and stared down at her Ancient Ruins book. After a few minutes of skimming the pages and jotting down notes, she yawned and felt a wave of exhaustion come over her.

Maybe she would head back to the Common Room, spend some time just relaxing or she could even take a nap. Something she hadn't done since childhood but recently she had been having a bad case of insomnia.

Other than Malfoy and Voldemort, she had recently had a breakup with Ron. Everyone was so surprised by it, she wasn't though, they were fundamentally incompatible. And she never knew it more till it was over, Ron reacted badly to say the least. She realized she needed to be with someone whose maturity level didn't match a five year old.

Thank Merlin however that five years forgets things quickly so Ron had been acting normal around her now. Even Harry was always trying to drop hints. Harry couldn't see Hermione's side with this, he was his best mate and Hermione liked him before why couldn't it work out?

She was resigned to go back to the Common Room, she gathered her books, parchment and other accoutrements. She got everything stuffed in to her bag, and preceded to leave the library. She was stopped on her way out though by Malfoy and she couldn't help but roll her eyes.

He was just standing in front of doors leading out gazing at something upon the wall. She thought as she approached he would realize and move but he did not. Being so close to him without him knowing she was there was odd, the expression on his face was she had never seen before.

He looked vulnerable and afraid, like a child who needs their mother but she is nowhere to be found. But still she wanted him to move, she wanted to get back to the tower and she was impatient. The Hermione most people saw would have sat back down and waited for him to go. But she was not that way truly, she tapped her foot hoping he would get the message. He didn't, he was lost in his own world just as she had been before.

She readied herself to ask him to move, he would probably make some snarky comment. She brought herself to her full height which was still at least a foot shorter than him.

"Excuse me, could I please get by?" She asked cautiously.

He acted as though he hadn't heard her for a moment but then slowly turn a scowl on his face.

"Oh yes, Granger. I forgot no one can hold up the Golden Trio when such important work is to be done. Especially when it is the brains, tell me how do the two morons manage to suck air into their faces without you?" He arched his eyebrows and the smirk he was known for now adorned his face.

She wasn't surprised this is what she had anticipated, over the years she had come to expect nothing less.

"For your information Malfoy, I am just trying to get back to my dorm but your great form was in my way. And I just need you to shove over a few feet for me to get by. Or snap out of your little world where you rule and get through the door." She snaps back at him, her voice getting more shrill with each word.

He just stared at her, normally she was with the boys and didn't need to assert herself. Of course, he could never forget how in third year she slapped him right across the face. But since then Weasel and Scarhead normally fought her battles.

Then he walked through the door but stopped shortly in front of it and motioned his hands as if to guide her through it. She huffed and made her way out of the library and started down the corridor.

He trailed close behind her, and she could feel her breath become short. What is in Merlin's name does he want, she thought to herself. She slowly turned her head and looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"What now, Granger? I can't even walk down the same corridor as you without you getting your knickers in a twist." Malfoy snapped the bite in his voice was obvious.

"No, Malfoy. I just am surprised you would want to breathe the same air as someone so beneath you." She retorted, she choked out his name the distaste evident.

"Maybe, I don't feel that way anymore, Granger. I might have realized that there are more important things than blood status." His voice rose, and swelled with anger.

They were all alone in the corridor, no one could hear him as he continued.

"Especially when the reason why I believe it was because of my father yet he serves a man who is a half blood. Does his bidding and puts not only his own life on the line but mine as well." He was shouting by this point.

The words were flooding from Draco's mouth before he had the time to process what he was saying. As well as whom he was saying it to. He had been at the breaking point for too long, at least he wasn't breaking in front of Potter. Although he was sure his enemy would hear of it.

"I have more important things to worry about such as my own fucking life than walking next to a Mudblood. I don't give a shit. You have always beaten me in classes anyways, your blood has nothing to do with it."

Hermione didn't know what to say, by this point Malfoy was shaking with fury.

"I never have to try to anything in my life before I came here and I was still the best. Of course though I am a Malfoy and we are superior. That was the first thing I was taught when I was able to comprehend anything." He stopped taking breath in before starting again.

"I expected everyone at this school to think I was the best as well. For everything to come easy to me, it always had. But no I am beat in every class by a Mudblood. And in Quidditch by the boy wonder." He spat out every word.

His head dropped as he realized all he had just realized what he had just said. The cogs were churning in Hermione's head, as what he just said to her sunk in.

She looked him, and he felt as though pity was written across her face.

"Oh what Granger, are you going to find a way to fix me, make me better? Isn't that what you are best at?" Malfoy said, his façade back into place.

"But like I said Granger, maybe it doesn't matter to me anymore. I don't care what kind of blood you have. When the war goes on and blood is shed it will all be the same." He murmured as he inched closer to her.

She drew in her breath as he approached, she had no idea what would happen next. Her thoughts darted back to what he said about her fixing him. She disgusted with the idea, no one could fix anyone. She firmly believed that. All these stupid girls running around Hogwarts trying to change and fix boys was idiotic.

"I can't fix or save you, only you can do that for yourself." She stated firmly, he chuckled under his breath.

"Save me, Granger? I know you are the Golden Girl but you should be able to see I'm far past that."

She shook her head in disagreement and he looked surprised.

"Anyone can save themselves you just have to be willing to change. Ask for help and work hard till things are different. Till you can see a light, a difference."

"That's where you're wrong, Granger." He said, he was close to her now she could feel his breath as he spoke.

"There will never be a light for me, I live in the darkness, it's where I belong. And no matter how much I don't want to, it's where I will stay." He stated and then back away from her.

And he left, quickly, not turning back. She hadn't moved she was still shocked by what had happen between the two of them. Her heart was thumping in her chest, she was perplexed. Her thoughts were swimming about what had just gone on.

She realized she had just felt truly alive though, the only thing that matter in that moment was what went on. And she then realized that Draco Malfoy needed help. There was a war coming and she felt like he could be swayed to the right side.

**Author's Note: This was just an idea that came to me when I was trying to write a chapter for another story. I had been thinking about writing a Hermione and Draco story for a long time but none of my ideas felt right. I don't think this story will be for everyone because I want Hermione to be a really strong character and not as much under Ron and Harry's thumb. Let me know what you guys think. :]**


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione scurried up the stairs trying her best to get up this flight before they moved. She was already flustered and stumbling from her encounter with Malfoy. She sure as hell didn't need to get lost too. Hermione had never been a fan of trying to find her way around when the staircases got bored, unlike some of her classmates.

They thought it was fun and it could always be an excuse of why you were late to class. Hermione saw it as a deterrent from getting where you needed to go quickly and efficiently.

With Gryffindor Tower in her sights her pace quicken, as she approached The Fat Lady asked, "Password?"

"Fairy cake." Hermione said curtly and the portrait swung up.

She proceeded through the portrait hole, hoping that no one would stop her along the way. Someone always needed to rattle on, it was even worse when they had senseless questions.

Hermione wasn't of a simple mind and she normally figured anything she needed to know out for herself. So when others didn't do the same she found it infuriating.

And when she took her first steps into the Common Room Fay Dunbar appeared within seconds.

"Hermione, I have been looking for you everywhere." It took all of Hermione not to roll her eyes.

Fay continued on, "I need to borrow your notes from Defense Again the Dark Arts." Fay stated, there was no hint of a question.

Fay expected her to just hand them over, which didn't surprise Hermione in the least. And Hermione thought of saying no but the last time that had happen Fay just took what she needed.

But that didn't stop Hermione on commenting that maybe Fay should show up to class and take her own notes.

After forking over her notes, she made her way through the room and various students. But before she made it to the stairs she was being called over by Ron and Harry.

She took a deep breath in, turned and walked over to her two friends.

"Weren't you going to at least come say hello to us before going upstairs? After all you had to study instead of spend time with us today." Harry stated.

Harry had been in a foul mood for a while now, especially since Ginny was now dating some other boy. What did he expect when he hadn't told her how he felt?

She loved her friends and was thankful for them, but right now it took a lot not to hit Harry in the back of the head.

Hermione lowered herself in the slouchy armchair as she sighed, and the boys went back to discussing Quidditch. She was just about to get up when the subject turned to Draco Malfoy.

"I can't believe he was made the Slytherin captain. Ferret probably had to have his father pay to get him that spot." Ron spouted angrily.

"Honestly Ronald don't be ridiculous, he didn't have to pay to get that spot. He is actually pretty good. " Hermione said casually.

But as she glanced up through her dark eyelashes she realized it was not taken as a casual comment.

Ron started first, practically roaring at her. "Good? You think he is good? Don't tell me you have lost your mind and turned into one of Malfoy's fan girls. "

Hermione stared at him incredulously, she blinked several times before she spat at him. "Not only do you have the emotional range of a teaspoon also you have a brain as small as a pea. How dare you ever put me in a category with those girls!"

Ron looked to Harry for help as Hermione was catching her breath and her chest rose up and down quickly. Harry glanced down and mumbled to Ron, "You know how she feels about those girls, mate."

"So now that I have been insulted I am going up to my room. Thank you very much for the lovely time." She said quickly, and then she turned on her heel and marched up the steps to the girls dormitories.

By the time she flopped down on her bed she was still fuming. How dare Ronald think he could say such a thing to her! It made her shutter to think of any similarities between herself and the number of girls that had been in the hands of Draco Malfoy.

Although now Ronald had found a girl like that for himself, Lavender Brown. And she made Hermione sick, with the cutesy nicknames and all the snogging. Hermione wasn't a prude but she felt as though it was just rude to others to have your tongue down someone's throat. It left little imagination to what would happen next.

So she was back to why the hell Ron had to make some big deal about Malfoy. In the boys eyes once someone was bad that could never change. Well except Harry's father but oh let's not go there. As for Malfoy, their thoughts would be he is an evil Deatheater who should be in jail.

For her thoughts, she was very undecided of what she thought of him. Whenever she thought of Draco Malfoy it was to try to figure him out. He was such an enigma to everyone, the façade didn't drop with him. Until it did and it was in front of her in which it fell. In those moments she felt like she may of have a glimpse of who he was.

Caught between being a boy and a man, having to fight for things he doesn't believe in. Hermione realized she was very curious about him, and she was going to find out more. She was going to start planning ways to but sleep washed over her.

Several hours later the light had drained from the room as Hermione stirred. She yawned as she stretched her arms up into the air. She wished that she could just fall back to sleep, that had been what she wished a lot recently. Waking up and not feeling rested is one of the most awful feelings in Hermione's opinion.

But now sleeping wasn't an option, it seldomly was, too much to be done. Tonight she had to continue to read and take notes for Ancient Ruins, as well as Arithmancy. Then she was patrolling the corridors till late tonight. Since she hadn't been able to sleep much recently so she had her schedule changed.

As she walked to the door she smoothed down her hair. Making her way down the stairs she realized dinner must have already started because normally there were hordes of students to squeeze through. She hoped it wasn't too late, she could always go down to the kitchen. But that was going to be a pain.

Hermione arrived to the Great Hall quickly but came to an abrupt halt, Dumbledore was speaking. So Hermione just to the side of the door waiting till he sat to proceed along to her own seat. But that thought was quickly diminished as Dumbledore saw her.

"Oh good evening, Miss Granger." He said as if they were to just see each other in the corridors.

Most everyone turned to look at her, some started laughing. Hermione had a horror stuck look on at face, she was mortified.

"Well why don't you take a seat? I will be wrapping up shortly. Surely you want to get some food before Mr. Weasley gets to it."

That made Hermione feel better, she chuckled softly. She spotted Ginny, Harry and Ron, who looked quite red from Dumbledore's comment. She shuffled to join them at the long wooden table.

As she took a seat next to Harry, Dumbledore started which the matter he had been discussing before.

She listened for a moment only to decipher of what he was speaking about. And it happened to be Quidditch tryouts, and when that word came that's when Hermione zoned out.

Once Dumbledore wrapped up the food appeared on the table. And as predicted Ron did start grabbing everything, Hermione opted for stew, it was one of her favorites in the colder months.

When she was young, her mother would let her help make the stew. Which now looking back all she did was stir and add too much salt. Small memories like that just made her think of how much she missed being at home with her parents.

Hogwarts was another world, and at times she felt like a different person. She knew that magic was apart of herself and something she could never turn her back on. But she felt like maybe she had turned her back to her parents.

She had only gone home for the holidays once and was her first year. Her parents understood but she wondered if they just thought as she got more in magic the more they lost her.

Which thinking about it seemed as though that was true. And suddenly she felt awful, how could she have been so selfish?

She was only drawn out of her thoughts by Ginny's voice.

"Hermione?" Ginny said once again in a sing song voice.

Hermione nodded at Ginny, then asking "I'm sorry what were you saying?"

"We all wanted to know if you were going to come watch the tryouts." Ginny asked raising her eyebrows.

"Well when are they?" Hermione asked.

"Bloody hell, Hermione." Ron chimed in. "Didn't you just hear Dumbledore remind everyone that the Gryffindor ryouts are tomorrow."

"No, I wasn't listening." With that comment everyone was a little shocked, it wasn't like Hermione Granger not to listen to the Headmaster.

"I don't give a damn about Quidditch, but since this is Harry's first year as captain I will try to come." Hermione stated pointedly.

"But try, you have to be there." Ron started.

Ginny could tell her brother was on Hermione's last nerve.

"Ron, get your foot out of your mouth. And then shove more food in it to keep quiet." Ginny said gling

"Hermione is starting that new schedule for patrolling tonight. She might be too tired tomorrow."

Harry chimed in, "It's fine if you can't come, Mione. I forgot all about your new patrolling."

"Yea, I still don't get why you changed it. Why would you want to go about the castle at night? Especially when Malfoy is about to, never know what he could do if you bumped into each other." Ron remarked.

Harry nodded, "You don't know about Malfoy, I didn't think of that. He could try to get information for You-Know-Who from you."

Hermione had finished her stew and was finished with this conversation.

"You two are both bonkers if you think Malfoy would do anything at Hogwarts. When patrolling, there are teachers about especially late at night. But oh no if Malfoy does try something I couldn't defend myself. What was I thinking? Thank you two for helping me see the error in my judgment." She asserted as she rose to leave.

"I hope you all have a nice night and if I don't see you tomorrow good luck."

She gave Ginny a slight smile and then turned on her heel leaving the Hall.

She planned to go back to the Common Room to study but that wasn't going to happen down. She would go to the library and do her reading there.

She was set to patrol the upper floors of the castle. So she could drop her bag off in the Tower before patrolling.

Hermione made her way up the stairs to set her plans into motion. But before she made it up the first flight off stairs she heard someone calling her.

"Granger. Oi, Granger. Can you get out of your own world for five seconds?" He barked as he made his way to her.

It was Draco Malfoy. And apparently he wanted something and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what after this afternoon.

"You are on patrol tonight?" Malfoy asked.

Hermione was stunned, she hadn't ever heard him ask anyone anything so politely.

"For being so bright, you aren't all there." He stated, just staring at her waiting for her answer.

"Yes, I am. Does it matter?" She snapped.

"Someone is snippy. You and I will talk tonight, Granger."

Hermione opened her mouth to argue but Draco stopped her.

"Whatever you say isn't going to changed the facts. We need to talk about what happen early and who knows about it."

He left before she could say anything else.

There was nothing she could do about she was seeing Draco Malfoy tonight. She would just have to find a way to get the upper hand, he didn't intimidate her.

She wanted answers to but they were not going to come easily. Hermione wanted to figure out why Draco was the way he was, why he was changing and how much more he would have change to want to be on their side.

As well as how she could get him there without being killed by Harry or Ron. But Dumbledore would be that answer, he would see Draco needs help.


	3. Chapter 3

Glancing up at the clock high on the wall Hermione let out a long sigh. She had been on patrol for an hour and a half and there had been no sign of Malfoy.

She wasn't hoping for him to come sooner, the opposite, waiting for more time. To figure out what to say and how to act. Hermione didn't even know anyone who had had a full conversation with him. Except maybe Professor Snape.

Her breath was bated, she was pacing up and down the corridor waving her hands at her sides. She was trying to think of what to do but everything was clouded. Then she stopped and placed her emotion, she was nervous.

This was a situation she couldn't figure out, she didn't know Malfoy. Everything she thought she knew flew out the window this afternoon. She couldn't pinpoint how to act because who knew how he would.

Not being in control was terrifying, especially when who was going to be in control happened to be Draco Malfoy.

Trying to calm herself, she slowed and was breathing in and out. Deciding that she could set out a plan after seeing what this had to offer. Nothing else could be done now and things would be fine.

She had her eyes closed, her breathing slowed and her hands stopped shaking.

As her anxiety level lowered she heard a soft chuckling from the darkness. She knew who it was, and this was what she didn't want to happen. To be caught off guard, to be vulnerable. And even worse embarrassed.

She swore under her breath, she could feel her cheeks redden as Malfoy stepped out from the shadows.

"Waiting for me, were you Granger? I am just so touched." He said in a taunting voice with his hand raised to his chest.

"You got yourself all worked up because I didn't come right away. I'm sure you are embarrassed I saw you had to calm yourself. It's okay though I have seen it before." He drawled, on still chuckling.

Well she was glad one of them was amused. She was just pissed off, she wanted to leave. But something pulled her to stay, to hear what he was going to say. Once he got off his damn high horse, if not she might just push him off it.

She huffed and with a sneer on her face started, "Did you just come here to taunt me, Malfoy? Or do you have anything to say of importance?"

He had opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off

"And before you go on a long rant about how everything you say is so important, just save your breath. It's nothing I haven't heard before." She added quite smartly.

For being so nervous about this encounter she sure was pushing her luck when it came to upsetting him.

"Just because I don't have a problem with your blood now that doesn't change the fact that what I say is of great importance. I am very important." He said with a haughty tone in his voice.

Before she could stop herself, she muttered under her breath, "Yea, I'm sure you're really important. In your own head."

Knowing it was a mistake to say she didn't even want to look up at him, her body tensed knowing that this could set him off like a Muggle firecracker.

Oh Merlin, why couldn't she keep her mouth shut at a time like this?

She closed her eyes as if he would be gone when she opened them. Grimacing she opened one eye then the other, then she realized she had to look at him.

Glancing up at him, his whole demeanor had changed. Shoulders squares off and tense, eyes darken, and a sneer across his face.

"Listen up Miss. Know It All. I actually am important and I would watch it if I were you. The person I am important to won't care if something happen to you. He chose me over everyone, me alone." The anger is his voice rose as he went on.

Hermione realized he was talking about Voldemort, maybe it wouldn't be as hard as she thought to get him to talk about it. Now she knew he chose Malfoy for something, what though?

She didn't give a second thought to his warning to watch herself. That was laughable if it came to her being able to use magic to defend herself. Her hand was on her wand that moment, gripping it in her pocket.

Worry would overcome her however if somehow he got her wand. Malfoy was much bigger than she was, next to him she was dwarfed even more than with Ron and Harry. He was even taller than Harry was, and with Harry even on her tip toes she was still many inches shorter.

His build was strapping, whereas Harry was slighter and Ron was beefy. He could hardly try and he would be able to hurt her. If he chose to.

Subconsciously she had taken a few steps back, Malfoy snickered, it wasn't like his laugh before, and you could tell he was still amused but now it was more sinister. He must just revel in the fact that he could frighten her.

"Scared Granger? You should be." He began stepping towards her, which left her shuffling back.

Which was something only idiots do, she thought to herself, because there's always a wall. And she had reached it, now she was trapped between the wall and the great form of Malfoy. He was looming over her.

"You don't have to keep being this way to people." She piped up.

Malfoy looked down at her inquisitively, "You lot of Gryffindors sure are fools. You are terrified yet still the mouth keeps running. Must be the Gryffindors courage at work. But really it just makes you all dunderheads." He asserted.

The only thing she could do is huff in response.

"How dare you? That's come from a snake in the grass. I am not afraid of you." She pointed at his chest as she continued, "Get that through your head, plonker."

"Oh Granger, you are going to regret saying that." He hissed as he inched closer to her.

Her back was pushing against the wall, he was inches from her and he lowered his face down to hers.

"Are you still not afraid? Your rapid breathing is saying something else. Now on to what I wanted to talk about." Malfoy continued.

Hermione inched slowly to pull out her wand, but his hand caught her arm. And he yanked her wand from her grip.

"You are really making me mad, what do you think I can see your arm moving? Don't be a daft bint." He said with a smirk on his face.

Anger boiled inside Hermione, that stupid ferret. She felt as though she couldn't breathe, she had to get away from him and get some air. To think before she did something she would regret.

She pushed against him,"Get away from me, and let me have my personal space now." She stomped her foot with frustration.

"You are so different from the other girls, Granger." He leaned into her and whispered in her ear, she could feel the smirk on his face, "All of them beg me to come closer and closer, there is no personal space left."

She let out a gasp and he had pulled back to see the look of disgust on her face. He was proud he had rattled the virtuous Granger, his smirk was wide and amusement was written all over his face.

Hermione step forward, raising her arm and slapping him across the face with all the strength she could muster. But unlike in third year Malfoy wasn't too shocked to move, he grabbed her arm harshly.

Pushing her back until her head hit into the wall with quite force. He grabbed her other arm, now holding both firmly at her sides. She tried to wiggle free but she could hardly move with his strength holding her.

"You don't know what I'm capable of, you don't know what I've done!" He declared.

He was shaking with fury, she could feel his hands trembling against her wrists.

"Now I hope you keep your damn mouth shut while I'm fucking speaking." He barked harshly. "Who did you tell about what happen earlier?" He demanded.

She was frozen, and the grip on her wrists tighten.

"Tell me now!" He growled.

"I.. I didn't tell anyone about it." She stuttered, cringing away from him. His stare was dark, and made her think of what Harry told her. Of what it was like to look evil in the eye.

"Don't lie to me." He roared. "I know you told Potter, I know he loved knowing how weak I am now. Just say it"

She shook her head over and over again, pleading that she didn't tell anyone.

Malfoy seemed to calm down, but then he started to get paranoid.

"Why didn't you tell anyone? It's not like we are friends, you don't care. No one cares, I could be killed and no one would care." He just started rattling on and on.

Hermione could hear his voice trembling, there was that little boy again. Scared, needing help.

"My own father said if I die serving the Dark Lord then I will die proudly. And I would deserve for it for not being able to defend myself."

He released her wrists, running his fingers through his hair. He tried to slow his breathing. She should have run as fast as she could. Screamed for someone to help her.

But she didn't, she waited for him to start again. She had to hear what he had to say. Maybe if he realized he could divulge information to her without her running away, he could then talk to Dumbledore.

She caught herself in that thought. Who had she been thinking of? Surely not Draco Malfoy, especially trusting her.

"You should leave now, Granger. No doubt the morons are up waiting to make sure the big bad Death Eater didn't get you." Malfoy said, the coolness in his voice had returned.

Her eyes widen with shock as he pulled up his sleeve, "Yes, I am a Death Eater. What did you expect? Now you can report that to Potter."

Some of her strength was coming back to her, she straighten up and looked him straight in the eye. "I'm not planning on telling Harry or anyone else anything about you. Despite what you think I'm not out to get you." She stated plainly.

She turned leaving him behind but after a few steps she turned back to him, "And just because you think you know all there is to me, doesn't mean you are right. No one is."

"What are you talking about, Granger? You are the golden girl." Malfoy whispered.

It was her turn to get mad now, she had held it in for too long.

"No one knows me, no one can like me. They like versions of me I have spun for them, versions they have construed in their minds. The parts that are easy. Everyone walks away it becomes hard. So I walk away first." She shrieked.

The look of shock on his face was as apparent as the tears that streamed down her cheeks.

She hadn't even realized she had started crying, she wiped her eyes quickly. Turn to leave but before doing so said simply.

"Now you have something to tell people. Have a nice night, Draco." She added softly.

She walked away slowly, her footsteps heavy, echoing in the great corridors of the ancient castle.

That was the first time she had ever called him by his first name. She had said it before however, when she would tell her parents of her time at the castle. She told them of a boy that teased her, and they didn't permit the use of surnames for a person.

She could remember going home to summer holiday first year and telling her mother about him.

Her response was typical, he teased her because he liked her. And for a bit she believed that could be it. Maybe she liked him too, things could be different if she just tried to be nice to him.

But then Mother saw him in the shops at Diagon Alley and said that boy is just cruel. He needs someone to guide him and obviously his parents are doing an awful job.

Her mom knew she had liked him, she sat her down for a talk. About how girls could never change boys or fix them. The boys needed to do it for themselves.

**Author's Note: I hope you all liked this. It took me 4 months to update the second one, but this only took a few days. I wanted to get up for you guys as soon as I could. Let me know what you think. :]**


	4. Chapter 4

He leaned into her softly kissing her lips, his arms were wrapped around her resting on the small of her back. Pulling her closer to him, he drew small patterns on her back as he kissed her more deeply.

His hands were tangled in her mass of honey brown curls as he kissed his way down her neck slowly. Teasing her, he pushed his hips in hers, she rose up to his body and his hands slide down.

He bit her neck softly as she moaned, he squeezed her ass getting her as close as he could to him. She could feel his budge against her, he grinded his hips into hers for her to feel it even more. Slowly, then more roughly.

She let out a squeal, she pulled away and looked up at him. His grey eyes looked into her brown as he raised his eyebrows as to ask why she stopped.

She pressed against him and then said firmly, "Stop teasing me, Draco."

"Of course, love. You can have whatever you want." He murmured as he went back to kissing and sucking her neck.

His fingers played with the bottom on her shirt, and then he started to raise it to take it off. He tossed it to side the bed as he made his way down her chest.

Hermione woke with a start, sitting start up in her bed. She looked around the room quickly, scanning the beds to make sure she was the only was there. Her breathing was heavy, and she silently thanked Merlin she was alone.

She couldn't believe the dream she had been having, especially since it stared Draco Malfoy.

It didn't mean anything, she told herself as she straighten herself up and rose from bed. She was a teenager, the hormones caused the dream. She didn't fancy anyone right now and Draco being the last one she spoke to before bed was the reason it had been him.

He was in her subconscious, she had worried about how to handle things with him. So much so she tossed and turned for almost an hour before she fell to sleep.

The sun up, she checked the clock sighing seeing that she was already running late for the tryouts. Making her way over to her wardrobe she pulled out a Muggle jumper and pair of jeans. Along with her under things and boots. She laid them all out on the bed.

She padded out of her dorm across the hall to the bathroom, she tied her hair up as to not to get it wet. Turning the shower head on to hot, she waited for a moment as to let the pipe heat up.

When the steam started pouring out, she stepped in turning away from the water. Her mind still racing from that dream, she was being ridiculous though. It was a dream that didn't matter that, events that would never happen. With Malfoy at least.

She was sixteen, of course she thought about sex like any other student at this school. And many would never suspect that she did think about quite a lot.

Thinking and doing were two different things. And until she found someone who loved her, who she truly was, nothing hidden. Till then she just had to satisfy herself.

And after that dream her mind wandering to that was going to be a problem. She hurried to wash her face and brush her teeth.

Getting out of the shower, she went back to her dorm room. Wanting to get ready quickly to see Harry and Ron at the pitch.

Pulling her hair down, she shook it out and ran styling crème through out it. She grabbed her wand and cast a few glamour charms.

To cover the puffiness of her eyes and to brighten them. Even out her light skin tone while adding a glow. And giving a rosy tint to her cheeks and lips.

Hermione looked in the mirror, she realized a long time ago she was no great beauty. This was as good as it was going to get. It wasn't perfect and she hated that.

Turning from the mirror, she grabbed her small purse. Then she strolled down the stairs, making her way out the castle and across the grounds.

It was a beautiful day for Scotland in the fall, the trees were losing their leaves. There was crispness to the air.

Before she knew it she was up in the stands. There was quite a crowd formed to watch the tryouts. She was happy she came to support Harry, Ron and Ginny.

Waving her over to sit next to them was Neville and Luna. This made Hermione smile even more, they really would be cute together. They liked each other, both were just too shy to admit it and lose a friend.

She understood, they had seen what a strain she and Ron had in their friendship. Plus Luna and Neville didn't have others to lean on. They both said they finally felt more accepted, and that made her elated.

Sitting on the hard, cold seat reminder her again why didn't like the sport. Luna looked chilled to the bone and Hermione felt it was getting a bit too nippy.

Pulling from her bag a small jar, she produced a blue flame to give them heat. Her eyes rose to the goal posts. Cormac McLaggen was in the position of Keeper as Ginny was trying to get the Quaffle pass him.

This was of no interest to her, she leaned over to Luna who seemed to be enjoying herself.

"Let me know when Ron's up." She whispered.

Luna nodded and gave her a small smile as Hermione pulled Hogwarts: A History from her bag.

Her copy was well loved and quite broken in, from this book she had learned so much of her new school. Things she would have been taught had she been of a magical family.

Only getting to read a few pages before she heard a shout.

"Oi, get your nose out of the book and watch me stop the Quaffle." Ron roared confidently.

Hermione grimaced, she had seen Ron play with his brothers and Harry. He was alright but nothing like Oliver Wood had been. But he had done already last year.

She just hoped he didn't think Harry would pick just because they were mates.

Giving him a small wave and a smile, he turned speeding towards the posts.

Ginny was throwing the Quaffle just as hard as before, if not more so. Ginny would never play favorites, even for her brother.

Luna informed her of how many shots McLaggen had stopped, Ron ended up matching to that. So it was McLaggen's turn again.

He was doing very well, she was worried. She didn't like Cormac, he was in ways worse than Draco Malfoy. He was cocky and snobby. But he acted as though he didn't realize it. Malfoy knew he was rude, he knew it, as well he was proud of it.

When the last pass was thrown Hermione shot a Confundus Charm on Cormac, he swerve in the air, seeming to lose his balance.

Oh Gods, she hoped he didn't fall of his broom. That was a stupid thing for her to do, someone could have noticed, he could have died. Okay, now she was being a bit dramatic.

Please let Ron stopped all the shots, she wished silently. Knowing if he was beating out she would never hear the end of it.

Then a feeling of sickness came over her, thinking back to her thoughts of how she was like their mother in ways. This was one, making sure they didn't fail. Even though that's how they would learn.

But thankfully Ron did block all the pasts, he had a huge grin on his face as he flew down to the floor of the pitch. Where Harry was waiting, he caught her eye and motioned for her to come down.

It looked like tryouts where now over. Neville, Luna and she made their way down to the team. Hermione was given a hug by Ron but quite a smug look from Harry.

He must have seen her cast the charm, damn it. She gave him a pointed look as if to say don't say a word, it's not like you wanted him on your team.

They talked among themselves until Neville saw a brood of Slytherin coming towards them. Malfoy was leading the pack, he was captain. The look in his eye said he would do anything to bet Harry.

"Potter, can you get your sorry excuse for a team off the field? My team is having their tryouts." Malfoy spat.

Harry walk forward to Malfoy glaring at him.

"The pitch is Gryffindor's for the morning, we have it book so we can now practice." Harry said, the anger in his voice was clear.

"Well sorry to ruin your plans, Potter. I know your so called team could use the practice but I have a busy schedule. Professor Snape gave me permission to hold the tryouts today." He drawled on, bored with this.

"You can hold tryouts when you schedule them originally. Should have known then what your schedule would have been." Harry said trying to stay calm. But Hermione knew he wasn't, he had balled his hands up into fists,

Looking at his hands remembered her of last night with Malfoy, slapping him and him grabbing her wrists. She hadn't even notice if she had bruises or not.

"Since you need to know every detail of my life to help your obsession with me. I have extra lessons with Professor Snape as well as my other classes and patrolling." Malfoy said with something of a swagger.

Ron started laughing, "What you need to catch up, Malfoy? Grades not good enough for Daddy?"

Malfoy took several steps closer and Hermione saw he had a faint bruise on his other wise unblemished face.

"Weasel, I would keep my mouth shut if I were you. We all know what a dunnerhead you are. My grades are only second to the little princess over there. I'm learning more advance magic."

"Yea, probably dark magic." Harry piped up.

Hermione just want to leave, she was getting a headache from the arguing, it was stupid. Malfoy had the note, who cares if they practiced a different day?

Now Harry would probably start about how Malfoy was a Death Eater and a bigger fight would break out.

Since Malfoy had a bruise though she pulled her sleeves up quickly glancing at her wrists seeing them a darken purple color. She pulled her sleeves down sensing someone looking at her, it was Malfoy.

Catching his eye for a moment the look on his face was almost worried. Like he was sorry for what he did.

He decided to use the fact that Hermione looked up to get the lot to leave.

"Potter, Weaselbee, don't you care you are upset your precious kitten?" Nodding towards Hermione.

Harry caught her expression and said, "Fine we will leave. But don't ever try to mess with my practice again, Malfoy."

They filed out the pitch slowly as the Slytherin players took to the air. Malfoy however stayed on the ground, as Hermione passed him he grabbed her sleeve gently, pulling her to him.

She flushed for some reason to reminded her of how he pulled her closer to him in her dream. But this was innocent, it was nothing.

He leaned in and brushing against her cheek, "See you tonight on patrol, Princess." He whispered softly.

She pulled away from him and stride away quickly catching up to the team.

What was his deal? He just could not make up his mind about how he felt. He had to remind her she would see him tonight. Had to put her on edge for the rest of the day. Worried if tonight would be anything like the last, she hoped not.

She needed not to get him started, just let him go on as much as he liked. As much as it pained her to not mouth off back at him. But her curiosity out weighed that, at least at the moment it did.

**Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Writing the first part was a bit different for me so let me know how it was. Your reviews give me more motivation to write more quickly. And it helps me gauge if I'm going in the right direction. :]** **There was be more interaction between Hermione and Draco in the upcoming chapters, which them having patrol and classes together.**


	5. Chapter 5

The events of the past two days had her head spinning. Her plate had always been full, that's how she liked it. But lately it was all too great, all the worrying was getting to her. It felt as though no one could see all the things to be nervous about, frighten of, all the things to think in a day.

No one else did worry like she though, she did to herself. She was making everyone else problems her own, and taking responsibility away from others. Because they would just do it wrong and she would have to redo it anyways. Or she just did want to hear about it, the whining.

After the tryouts had ended Harry, Ron and she ran into Hagrid. He wasn't too pleased to see them as they had all dropped Care of Magical Creatures from their schooling. Hermione couldn't do it with the classes she was taking and the boys didn't want anymore classes then necessary.

But in the end everything was straighten out with him, they had left for dinner however because Hagrid's cooking was horrid.

The issue of Cormac had come up with Harry though. As they approached the Great Hall, Cormac was trying to enter, he ended up walking in the frame the first attempt and hardly making it through the second.

Ron had thought it was worth a good laugh and strolled off in the hall after him. But Harry caught Hermione's arm, to hold her back asking her about the fact it seemed as though Cormac had been Confunded.

She had admitted to it but made her reasons known to why. Harry just teased her about being a prefect and how that was a dishonest thing to do.

Then Professor Slughorn had invited Harry and her to dinner the next night, ignoring Ron completing, which put him in a foul mood.

Harry had tried to get out of it, he had a detention with Professor Snape. But Hermione smirked when Slughorn said he would get Harry out of it.

It served him right she didn't want to go there alone, especially since Cormac would be there. The thought made her shutter, she would rather be there with Malfoy.

Back in the Common Room she did a stupid thing, she brought up Draco Malfoy. Only because it involved Ron's father though.

Mr. Weasley had searched the Malfoy house on Harry's tip, the fact they didn't find anything that just made Harry more keen that Malfoy must have something here.

Hermione brought up however he couldn't have anything because of the searching the went through coming into the school this year. And then Harry fought that as well, the mail. Because the mail wouldn't be checked if they were.

Surprisingly Ron just wanted Harry to drop it as Hermione did. Ron had stomped off in a fit soon after that which how Hermione ended up here in the library.

Hermione wasn't about to stay up with Harry as he glanced longingly at Ginny and plotted to take down Malfoy. She on the other hand was trying to figure out how to help Draco.

If worst came to worst and Harry wouldn't accept Draco coming to their side, which was reaching already, Harry couldn't go against Dumbledore.

She had already decided about tonight that she would try to not mouth off too much as not to upset him. And to hide her wand to be able to get away if need be.

As she had planned this, she thought to when she used to baby sit her small cousins and how similar she approached them and Malfoy. Why was it all these "men" she knew needed to be treated like such children?

But they insisted they didn't behave that way, it was she who irrational. Harry and Ron had hardly made their way through Hogwarts with her, how would they make it in the battle without her?

The time ticked pass as Hermione scanned various books filling her head with more knowledge. She had read along for almost all her classes, before she knew it was time to start patrolling.

She hurried to Gryffindor Tower to drop off her bag before starting up to The Astronomy Tower. Which was off limits to students except for classes, but many couples went up there to have it off.

Professor McGonagall had asked her to start there tonight and work her way down the lower floors. She had told of course she didn't mind but in reality she really didn't want to. Hermione didn't like heights, and climbing up the tiny ladder up there gave her chills.

By the time she was half way up the ladder her hands were sweating, which made her more nervous. That would just cause her to lose her hold and she would fall.

She could always cast a spell not to get hurt and if she did break something she could get it fixed in the Hospital Wing in no time. Growing up though her parents taught her to be safe or she would get hurt. What she learned as a Muggle sometime overran what she had learned being a witch.

The minutes drag on as she proceeded up but finally she reached the top of the Tower. She thanked her lucky stars Malfoy hadn't come looking for her, but then her thankfulness disappeared.

Sitting before her was Draco Malfoy, his white blonde hair glowed and his skin seemed to sparkle as the moon shone down on him. His face looked younger, he seemed very content in his little world up here.

Maybe she could just get down the ladder before he noticed her, but he had seen her out of the corner of his eye.

"Aren't you going to come away from the ladder, Granger? I have never known you as the graceful type, don't need you falling down the tower." He said softly, he didn't seem to be taunting her with that comment.

He tried to focus his own thoughts, he wouldn't have thought she would find him. He offered to patrol this part of the castle to be alone and think. Obviously the old bat thought he was getting into trouble.

He was glad Granger had come in at this time though, he was thinking far too much about Voldemort, his fellow Deatheaters and his mission. Mainly though how he got to the place of having this thing on his arm.

He remembered seeing the same mark on his father's arm when he was a small boy. He had thought it was quite unsightly and wondered why his father would want such a thing.

Asking him wasn't a smart choice, the elder Malfoy then decided it was time for young Draco to learn about his family, Mudbloods and his master.

Draco had always wished he never would have asked, maybe his childhood could have lasted a little longer. His mother playing with him, calming him when Father yelled, and letting him help the house elves in the kitchen.

But it turned into Draco getting lessons from his father screaming at him whenever he asked the wrong question and going on trips with his father's friends. He just hoped to be able to play with the other children but instead he had to watch people begged for their lives.

Learning the people who were dying were nothing but dirty below him, nothing to bother thinking about. But here stood before him a girl he had hated for all the wrong reasons.

Sure there were things to dislike about Granger, but nothing she did really made him hate her. The only thing was her blood, which next to his he was sure they would be the same.

Hermione had entered into the tower, she didn't know what to do next, where to go? She decided to stay standing in case she needed to run, but she did move closer to the window.

She stared out onto the beautiful grounds of Hogwarts and then lifted her eyes to the sky with the stars shining brightly.

Draco had stood to see what she was looking at, he could appreciate how wonderful Hogwarts was. He felt more safe here then in his own home, especially with the Dark Lord stopping by now.

Looking down at Granger though he realized not only his views on her had changed but she had changed. Her hair was less bushy, he had always thought it a dull brown color but now he realized it was warm brown with honey tones through it.

Her skin was clear and pale, not as much as his own but still fair and she had a radiance to her. Though he had notice before she had a light in her eyes, always big and bright. Now it was much duller. Her eyes were still the same brown though, deep chocolate brown and framed by thick lashes

She was attractive, he could admit that. And then the sinking feel went into his stomach, he had hurt her.

Draco would deny it but he was a mama's boy, Narcissa spoiled him even now. When his father started to take him on trips, she made he promise her to try not to hurt anyone but especially not women or children. She told him that those women were or would be someone's mother and how would he like if someone did that to her?

Now not only did he hurt a woman but he had left marks on her.

Hermione sensed Draco was close to her, he seemed to be staring out, thinking, she just wondered about what. He glanced at her and their eyes caught.

He could tell she was tense, worried about what would happen in seeing him this time. He wanted her to know he wasn't going to hurt her, he didn't want to keep scaring people. Well maybe Potter and Weasley, and a few first years. Those buggers needed to learn to listen.

"You don't have to be so afraid, Granger. I'm not going to hurt you again." He said sincerely, she glanced up at him pensively. "I am sorry for that, it's something I have never done. It shouldn't have gotten to that point."

She wasn't sure if she should believe him or not, but then again she did feel quite bad for hitting him. So giving him to benefit of the doubt she believed him, and then had the realization she would have to apologize too.

"Thank you, Draco." She responded slowly, "I'm sorry for slapping you."

He had a small smile at this statement and a look of confused crossed Hermione's face.

"What?" She snapped.

What did he think was funny? She should have just ignore his apology, obviously he didn't mean a word.

"I was merely curious if you are apologizing for slapping me yesterday or in the third year. Because that one still really hurts deep down." Draco joked.

Hermione was taken aback, this side of Draco Malfoy was one seldom had seen.

"If we are going to play the game where we apology for things that happen between us when we were younger, you will be going all night."

"Oh Princess, calm down, don't get your knickers in a twist." Draco continued.

He seemed to be pushing her buttons which he found humorous, she got worked up easily.

She blushed, "Would you stop calling me that I don't like?" She asserted.

"Oh, get over that. You are the Gryffindor Princess, deal with it. Embrace it." He said smirking.

"Just like you're the Slytherin Prince. Huh? Not all us like titles, Your Majesty." She said bowing slightly.

She couldn't believe she was just here joking with Malfoy, Harry would kill her if he knew. And Ron would kill Malfoy.

"Well I guess we are just the royalty of the school, Granger."

**Author's Note: I hope you all liked this, let me know what you think. In the next chapter Hermione and Draco will continue on with their conversation. :] I hope you all are well.**


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